Welcome Rideshare Riders!
From here you will see a collection of funny and or interesting stories I have to share from my adventures in Ridesharing!
*** Disclaimer: opinions stated here are my own and NOT those of any ride-sharing company. ***
To get you started I would like to link to my Android and IoS games here!
A Little About Me:
In 2016 I drove down to Burbank California where I lived in my Ford Focus station wagon seeking acting jobs in California. I did have some success including playing the ironically named “Dr Peter HACKETT …
The Long Island Serial Killer!” (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5867122/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_12) in People Magazine Investigates season 1 episode 1!
My IMDB profile is here : IMDB
It was a lifelong goal and dream that I had to see through (the acting, not living in my car!) .. it ended abruptly when I discovered in mid June, everyone in the industry goes on summer vacation, and the jobs I was getting dried up!
So I had two choices: Stay and wind up actually on the streets, or come back to Oregon where I have a support network? I chose the latter.. so I am back in Oregon, and since January 2018 have been reestablishing myself and saving up for car payoff and a return jaunt back to acting.. someday. I have been VERY blessed by God to get my current jobs, and also to have this new Mazda3 car and all the things it comes with it including my things I have at home, but especially my cat, Purrsha.
I’m good at voices such as Mr Smithers and Mr Burns from The Simpsons. I just learned I can do Darkwing Duck and Morgan Freeman and am working on honing their voice skills and trying out some lines.
I like comedy roles, but I also like roles where I get to turn on the hammy. (scary roles, etc)
Some voices I can do:
Smithers and Burns (Simpsons)
Darkwing Duck
Dr Claw (Inspector Gadget)
Barney (Flintstones) / Yogi Bear
Various Looney Toons impersonations, and more!
I’m currently saving up for a Voices . com membership to apply my voice to trade. If you’d like to assist in this $499 yearly fee, you can donate here.
LONG RIDES
Longest Journey (to date) : May 31st 2019. Tigard Oregon to Yreka California!
Distance: 315 miles
Price (them) $400+ My cut: $305.01 Tip: $1. Yup, you read that right.
How long did it take? 5 hours down (1 hour rush hour traffic + four driving) + 5 hours back (and another highway wait due to a head-on collision.)
Second Longest Journey: December 25th 2018, Tualatin Oregon to Tacoma Washington.
Distance: 130+ miles
Price: about $200+ My cut: $139 Tip: don’t remember
How long did it take? about 3 hours each way. I wound up rescuing a stranded truck driver on the way back whose rig had broken down on the highway. If not for having my Uber on, he would have been stranded a longer time, I was the only one within 30 miles or so.
Third Longest Journey: Summer 2022, Portland Oregon to Hermiston Oregon.
Distance:130+ miles
Price: about $200+ My cut: $139 Tip: don’t remember
How long did it take? about 3 hours each way. I wound up rescuing a stranded truck driver on the way back whose rig had broken down on the highway. If not for having my Uber on, he would have been stranded a longer time, I was the only one within 30 miles or so.
And two trips to Sea-Tac airport! (I actually LOVE the long rides, and now with my Android tablet screens, I am WELL set up for it! Ironically, that first long journey to California encouraged me to GET the screens!)
Shortest ride
Shortest ride: September 3rd 2019 Salem Oregon to Salem Oregon
Distance: 50 feet. The destination was *very literally* across the street from where I picked them up, it was a one way street and I would have had to drive about a mile to get them to the actual location. Dropped them off and pointed!
Price: about $5 (minimal fare) … Check your location before ordering please!
Number of Rides as of April 2024: 19,000! (was 6,000 as of 2020)
Funny Stories
Pants Required
Credit: FarAndWide.com
The initial picture that started this webpage shows a man in an airplane changing down to his underpants! While I haven’t quite had that experience (I did have one lady change clothes in the back seat) the origin was 2 young men in the span of 24 hours that I had to tell to pull their pants up. Their pants were WAAAAAY below their asses. The first one asked me “What, is this a new rule or something” to which I had to inform him “Dude it’s sanitary!” (ARRGGHH!)
I try to make sure I have the correct address as your destination. This is because some of my first rides have been slight typos: NE to SE, NE to NW, even correcting an error that would have resulted in a 150 mile (one way!) journey! I’m looking out for you, and me. My first learning experience with this was picking up a young lady in April 2018 in Portland, and I hadn’t yet begun this practice.. we start heading over the West Hills to the destination over a very curvy and bumpy road.. we get around a corner and I hear a very drunk very tired voice go “Wheeeeerre we gooooooinnng??” .. at which I pulled over to verify our route.. to find that indeed we needed to head SE not SW! The annoying part of that ride was that she thought I had entered the address wrong lol.
Another Funny Story was being too early! I picked up one couple late 2018 in plenty of time to get to the Moda Center for their concert. In fact, we were so early, we were 24 hours early! They had it off by one day. They had a nice sense of humor and I took them to another destination.
Number of Vomiters:
Five people, seven times. More than I want to think about. Also had to clean up dog crap and people crap. (for which I bought a replacement seat then removed and hosed BOTH down to disinfect!)
Instant rideshare!
There have been a few times I’ve just let someone out and someone is on the sidewalk ordering a rideshare service. Before I can move “Ping! Ping!” I’m already here.. so I call out “Instant Uber!” .. be sure to tip well for your time travelling driver! 😀
Things I’m proud of:
Being a Christian. I play 104.1 or 96.3 Christian music to try to provide a peaceful environment in a busy city. And yes, driving in Portland, I don’t get so many complaints about it these days, as bad reviews, that “I was rude”.. when no, I’m not. Frankly it’s a heckuva lot better than the crap on typical radio.
Having pulled myself up from formerly living in my car (no not this one!) and not having a job, not thinking I’d ever be able to work again, to being employed since 2018 at the same job!
Returning lost cell phones to their owners within a half hour of loss. Please remember to tip, this is time I’m taking out from driving and it is cheaper than replacing your phone!
Over 18,000 rides on Uber over 6 years. (since 2018)
Loving animals and service animals – pets from afar!
Things I’m still learning:
- How to communicate better. I’ve been inside a turtle shell for most of my life and have been learning how to be more of an extrovert since 2016 (I started driving for rideshares in early 2018). I still have days where it is an issue, but if I’m quiet it is NOT anything you’ve done or done wrong, I am simply wracking my brain trying to think of something non-dorkly to say!
- How to manage my own Social Battery – identified in 2023! .. and I actually wrote an App for it, available on Google Play! My Social Battery – Apps on Google Play
- How to tell the same story over and over and have it sound fresh!
- Portland city street names (I live in Keizer Oregon.. there’s more business in Portland. Please remember to tip so I can save gas money!)
Pet Peeves: (some literal!)
A Few.. some include:
- SLAMMING CAR DOORS (it’s rude, there’s no excuse for it, it damages paint and the door, and it WILL ruin your rating with me!
I will rate you 1 star AND report you for doing it! - Foul Body Odors
- Perfumes
- Spraying anything (notably hair spray) in the car will result in an early ride termination due to chemical sensitivity (safety issue!)
- Grumpy service animal owners
- Grumpy people
- Salem / Keizer drivers – reasoning: Portland area people actually drive BETTER than the smaller city I am from.. cutting you off, flipping you off, just general bad driving. I MUCH prefer driving in Portland!
- People rating me bad for dirty floors when it’s THEIR feet making them dirty. (I cannot vacuum every day – see my Disabled Parking Placard.
- People ordering Uber then rating ME a bad review for the car being too small. (I get a LOT of Sumo sized people!) WTF?! I have a standard size sedan. If you have more than 2 people and you’re taking a POOL ride, you should order an XL size car or rethink your choices.
–UPDATE 2024 I now have a larger car of a Mazda CX-5 so this hasn’t been as much of an issue FOR ME, but the gall of people that do that still irritates me! - $1 tips. This is the equivalent of saying “this is all you’re worth” or “hey I’ve got a HUGE tip for you!” and snapping the lowest amount as if it’s big. This is RUDE. Gas is spendy, and oil companies are greedy. Because of where I live I CANNOT get or afford an electric car, and I WON’T get a Tesla! But I digress.. if you have a complaint about me or the ride, DON’T TIP! Don’t even bother tipping! Just stop with the $1 tipping!